Mentally Provoked

The Innovator of Ignorance

Archive for the ‘It Hurts If I Touch It…’ Category

The Fuck You List

Posted by Nick (The Fn Icon) on October 8, 2009

Ok so I’ve decided to do a little mini series that I’ll add to from time to time here called “The Fuck You List”.  General idea of it is just a collection of whatever is pissing me off at the time, and a posted version of the rant I usually have throughout the course of a day about it.  I’ve still got some shit I need to pull from twitter and post here, but this is the shit that was on my mind today.

Whoopi Goldberg

I want to thank Whoopi for her clarification in morality, where in we know there’s now two kinds of rape.  The first is “rape-rape” which is still the bad one, that we use to just call rape.  This is the one you don’t want to do, and you will go to jail for.whoopi

The new one is “not rape-rape”.  The best example of this is Roman Polanski.  According to Whoopi, it’s ok to dope a 13 year old up to the point of being almost completely out of it, and proceed to fuck her in the ass while she says no.  Perhaps you get the sympathy points for first asking her if she’s on the pill and waiting for an answer, then having the heart to let her know you’ll pull out.  Well, that’s might fucking considerate of you.  Now, let’s take a trip into Whoopi’s moral universe…..

“I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like “You know what this guy’s going to give me a hundred years in jail I’m not staying, so that’s why he left.”

Well, yeah…….when you rape someone, we put your stupid ass in jail.  There was someone who many years ago had an absolute moment of total genius and said “Hey, raping a chick is probably a bad idea.  I think we should punish people who do that.”  And so, the law was born.  I think it makes complete sense to me, but I’m no moral crusader like Whoopi is apparently.

And on that note, fuck you too Roman Polanski.  You were like 43 and she was 13.  Double whammy…you raped a girl in the ass and she was a minor.  Way to go you fucking pedo douchebag.

Miley Cyrus

So today has sucked in the twitter world for quite a few reasons.  It’s bad enough those cockwhores can’t keep shit running so nothing was refreshing, but then we have to deal with everyone crying over Miley deleting her twitter account like this some some fucking huge loss to mileymankind.  Who the fuck cares if she deleted her account?  She’s just an idiot who goes into emo rambling all fucking day and apparently her boyfriend didn’t like her having the account.  Now everyone is fucking crying and shit over it.  Fuck you.  If you’re life if gonna be so fucked just because that tool deleted a twitter account, you need to step up from being a cutter and just lay down in traffic.  Let Roman Polanski rape your dog in the ass, then you’ll have something legit to cry over.

And no, I didn’t make the image.  It’s some random one I found on the net.  I don’t know who made it so I can’t give credit, but whoever it is…..you fucking rock!

Panda Express

No, my issues with them haven’t stopped.  They still won’t put panda on the fucking menu, but they continue to advertise it.  This WILL be war.  I think I’ll go there tonight for dinner and have a little fun.

Snow Leopard Fanboys

Do none of you realize that you just got fucked by Steve Jobs in paying $30 for a service pack??? apple I realize it’s a hell of a lot better than your normal $130 you guys get bent over on, but shit.  This is all crap for the most part that could have been in gradual releases over time.  Oh kick ass, we got new features that will be fucking worthless unless someone actually writes an app around it even though their shit works without it!!  You can all kiss my Windows lovin ass, every one of ya.  Here’s the nice thing I get as a perk.  When Microsoft releases something the equivelant of a service pack, they call it one and I download the shit for free.  I don’t have to pay out the ass to get some updates to speed up my shit or make it a little more secure.  And I don’t sure ain’t paying to get Vista .1, .2, .3, .4, etc.

Posted in Apple, Fuck You, It Hurts If I Touch It..., Panda Express, WTF | Leave a Comment »

Chat Fun With Stacy

Posted by Nick (The Fn Icon) on March 12, 2009

Ok, so I’m gonna throw up another little chat log.  A bit of back story first about Stacy and why she’s even relevant to anything….

Stacy is the one who does the photo modeling for the Myndflip Radio banners for us.  You can check them out at myndflip.com and clicking the banners link.  Anyways, it’s worked out to be a cool deal.  She doesn’t hit us up for money, which makes me happy, and we get some kick ass banners while she just has fun with it.  So anyways, Stacy and I have this odd she wants to kill me but just can’t quite pull the trigger kind of thing going.  Although she throws me as much shit as I return, it’s always technically my fault.  So I caught up with her on messenger this evening since I haven’t talked to her in the last couple of days.  And before you ask, yes, she always starts off any conversation we have my calling me a punk, slut, or something similar.  It’s her own special way of saying hello, so I simply just follow suit….
Nick [Myndflip]: punk
stacy: ass
Nick [Myndflip]: heh
Nick [Myndflip]: whats up hun?
stacy: not much. bout to go to bed… lol
stacy: u?
Nick [Myndflip]: this early?
Nick [Myndflip]: wtf
stacy: ive been up since 4am!
Nick [Myndflip]: ouch
Nick [Myndflip]: whats this surgery shit you mentioned?
stacy: yep.. it sucks
stacy: blah
Nick [Myndflip]: whats it for?
stacy: they hafta “break” my jaw
stacy: and re align it
stacy: haha
Nick [Myndflip]: what the hell did you do to it?
stacy: nothing.. its just not “balanced”
Nick [Myndflip]: causing you pain?
stacy: nope
Nick [Myndflip]: so why do you have to do surgery instead of ignoring it?
stacy: because thats what the dr recommends
stacy: grr
Nick [Myndflip]: ok so you wont remove your tonils which is causing an immediate issue, but youll have someone break your jaw for no real reason?
stacy: haha.
stacy: i know. im totally weird
Nick [Myndflip]: shit save some money and drive down here….ill break the thing for ya….
Nick [Myndflip]: so much cheaper
Nick [Myndflip]: plus itll amuse the shit outta me
stacy: haha. im not payin for it
stacy: so BOOYA
Nick [Myndflip]: but youre still missing the my amusement part here….very important
stacy: shut up
stacy: punkass
stacy: lol
Nick [Myndflip]:
Nick [Myndflip]: so how long is your head gonna be wired like an FCC nightmare?
stacy: grr….
stacy: see, too much info in your hands is dangerous
Nick [Myndflip]: lol
Nick [Myndflip]: lies
stacy: truths
Nick [Myndflip]: i know how they do most of that….dated this chick who was supposed to have it done.  I supported that one cause it fd with the way she talked and it annoyed the piss out of me
Nick [Myndflip]: how logn did they say youll be down?
Nick [Myndflip]: i swear to god i wont make a shit remark out of it
stacy: lies
Nick [Myndflip]: hey if i promise ya something its done
Nick [Myndflip]: try me…
Nick [Myndflip]: ok fine then dont
stacy: grr
Nick [Myndflip]: oh calm down
Nick [Myndflip]: well regardless of that, i hope you make a speedy recovery
Nick [Myndflip]: and you better make sure to keep me updated
Nick [Myndflip]: ill even refrain from jokes
stacy: will do homeslice
Nick [Myndflip]: what time you have to be at work tomorrow?
stacy: 720am
stacy: and i have to work ALL DAY
stacy: AND ALL DAY FRIDAY
Nick [Myndflip]: wtf
stacy: AND 750AM – NOON ON SATURDAY
Nick [Myndflip]: why again?
stacy: because the dudes fiances water broke today at 6am.. so he wont be able to work the rest of the week
stacy: GAY
Nick [Myndflip]: i thought she already popped out that fatheaded bastid
stacyc12: nope.. last time it was a false alarm
Nick [Myndflip]: ghey
stacy: very
Nick [Myndflip]: tell her to close her fn legs next time and get a damn hobby….shes becoming an inconvenience
stacy: lol
stacy: totally
stacy: no thank yous to stacy for her pictures??
stacy: i just read your bulletin
stacy: ha
Nick [Myndflip]: hey now…ive thanked you a million times
Nick [Myndflip]: such an attention whore lol
stacy: i see how you roll…
Nick [Myndflip]: and yes…..tytytytytytytytytytytytytytytytyty
stacy: jerk
stacyc12: haha
Nick [Myndflip]: nothing but love punk
stacy: word.
Nick [Myndflip]: so when is the surgery?
stacy: bout 2wks
Nick [Myndflip]: weak
stacy: totally
Nick [Myndflip]: gonna bailk for a bit to find food…ill txt ya if youre up still
stacy has signed out. (3/11/2009 10:18 PM)
Last message received on 3/11 at 7:56 PM

This is the normal every day conversation with her.  I even sent over a couple of texts later on giving her more shit about it.  I think one mentioned a human pez machine.  I love my friends.
Speedy recovery slut!!

Posted in It Hurts If I Touch It..., Myndflip Studios | Leave a Comment »

Busy busy busy…..

Posted by Nick (The Fn Icon) on March 2, 2009

Ok so I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks or so I think at this point. I’ve actually been pretty busy lately, which kinda sucks cause I prefer to be a lazy slacker if at all possible.

Of course we have the Circuit City liquidation going still. They closed our store early, so T and I are driving to the Harker Heights store just to keep a regular paycheck rolling in. The drive blows ass, but it’s cool hanging out with Billy again who was a manager at our store. So it’s a bit of a balance.

The radio station shit is going well so far and keeping us busy. We all went out to Siidshow3 at Legends here in Waco a week ago and worked that show. Hopefully soon we should have the editing done from that one. Last night we 13th had a show in Temple, so T just took his gear to work and we headed straight over afterwards. Gotta admit…it was a hell of a show. Honestly though, I could do without all the emo’s there…..but whatever. One of those things you have to deal with.

Oh Noez!! Teh Emoz!!!
But yeah, good times regardless. I was actually pretty surprised on how good the sound was in the building. Too bad it’s a hole in the wall bar outside of Temple that’s a pain in the ass to find. We drove I don’t know how many miles down FM 93 and thought we were on the wrong end, turned around, and finally called them only to find out we were going the right way originally. We only needed to go another couple of miles. Bastards……

Speaking of that show……does anyone have pics of the two lesbian chicks that were up by the stage during the Pain Filled Silent set? Yeah baby!

One last thing before I go.

I hate this guy so much. I can’t stand the stupidity of infomercials and stupid products like the Shamwow bullshit, but then they have to put this assclown as their salesman? Please someone, beat him senseless with his fucking headset until he bleeds out. Make sure to get it on video too, as I’ll proudly use it as jerk off material. I’ve got my bottle of Jergen’s and plenty of wishful thinking on this one…..

Posted in It Hurts If I Touch It..., Myndflip Studios | 2 Comments »

Holy Fucking Gobstopper Buttplugs….

Posted by Nick (The Fn Icon) on December 18, 2008

Ok so I just got home from work, and DK was sitting around playing Warcraft and watching some shit on TV. Anyways, whatever show that’s on ends, and the original version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory comes on. Not normally what I’d watch, but it’s a half-ass amusing movie so I figured I’d watch it while I fuck around online.

Fucking dirty shitballs….this movie is NOTHING like I remember it when I was a kid. So in watching this disturbing story of bullshit, I’ve learned a few things.

First, poor people are not only dillusional, but completely fucking retarted. You’re fucking poor, so fucking deal with it. Don’t fill your little bastard child with false hope that he’s gonna win some 1 in 1,000,000,000 luckshot and get the riches and spoils that go along with it. It’s not going to happen, so don’t make him go crying his head off after getting shot back down into reality. Seriously, it’s just fucking cruel.


“But I am different. I want it more than anyone.”

Boo-fn-hoo. Keep crying you little wuss. Let me enjoy the sweet nectar of your tears as you realized life has just kicked you in the balls. Now go eat your cabbage water dinner. And if you’re so damn poor that your 4 grandparents have to share the same bed, why the hell are you wasting money on candy bars? How about regular food, the electric bill, or fixing the holes in your floor. You’re poor, you suck.

As for Charlie winning the ticket. I call bullshit on that one. I HAVE to call bullshit on that. He’s got his place in life for a reason. You can’t fuck up the order of society and ruin my climb to the top. Besides, I have to have someone to serve my fries at the drive-thru.

Next…..why the hell do none of the parents in this movie not discipline their kids??? Not one backhand and a shut your fucking trap!! This is crap! If I had a kid who talked to me like that, I’d jerk his head backwards by the hair and kick him in the spine. Paralysis works wonders when it comes to disciplinary issues.

Finally…this is what has creeped me out the most. This whole candyman thing at the beginning.

This motherfucker screams pedophile more than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. And that includes every episode of Barney ever made. Are you fucking serious? Someone actually thought it was a good idea to leave their kids alone with this freak…do you hate your kids?

What amazes me is this guy is actually free. I could safely bet money there’s some kind of hidden rape room in that store. I think the dark chocolate candybar on the top is a secret door switch. Try a Wonkascrumpdiddlyumptious…..yeah that’s code word you sick bastard.

The “golden ticket” is nothing more than a grandpass to get your kid butt-plugged. Have fun thinking about that mom and dad.

Posted in It Hurts If I Touch It..., WTF | Leave a Comment »

Holy Sweet Fucking Jesus

Posted by Nick (The Fn Icon) on December 15, 2008

I have just managed to rub my penis raw because of this……
I can now die happy.

Posted in It Hurts If I Touch It... | 4 Comments »

 
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